Education » Parenting Articles
Dealing with Holiday Stress
© Anne Geller
There Are No Shoulds
First and foremost, forget about what you should do, concentrate on what
you enjoy doing with your children and family. You don't have to buy and
decorate a tree. One year, instead of a tree I decorated a branch. It was
my very special Christmas branch. Feel free to get creative. Holiday cards
can be forgotten or postponed - surprise your friends with post-holiday/welcome
to the new year cards made by you and your children. Or, don't send any
at all. Why not send cards in summer - it will be a nice surprise! Whenever
you find yourself saying, "I should ?.", tell yourself to be quiet
and enjoy the season.
A Sense of Order
Keep to a schedule (a light schedule, if possible). Kids like predictability.
Sleeping in is nice, but let's not sleep all day. Try to stick to some of
the same routines you have when children are in school. Don't break every
rule you ever set just because it's the holiday either. Some leniency is
great, too much is a disaster waiting to happen.
The Dreaded Meal
With your children, decide what you want for a holiday meal. Have them
help you make a list and help you find the things at the grocery store.
For some people, a trip to the grocery store with their children would cause
more stress than joy - DON'T DO IT THEN! Still have your children help you
make something - even little kids can help by doing simple things like handing
you the oil or getting out the measuring cups.
Watch Out for the Chocolate Monster
Watch the candy eating - especially chocolate or foods with caffeine (like
soda pop!). While sugar has not been proven to cause behavioral changes
in children (although I don't believe it!), caffeine has - certain children
become more agitated, boisterous, energetic and even unresponsive to adult
directions!
Tradition!!
Remember tradition or establish a new tradition - something you'll want
your children to remember when they're older. These traditions can be free
or cheap (and should be if you want to decrease your stress!) Make a popcorn
chain, buy or get from the library a new holiday book or books and read
together, go on a neighborhood walk to see the holiday lights, gather together
candles and light a new one every night while everyone says something they
are thankful for.
A Free Gift That Everyone Will Love
Many parents feel guilty they can't afford to give lots of presents (or
sometimes any presents). Here's an idea to replace presents, and it won't
cost you a thing. (This will work for partners and friends too). Give a
coupon book with slips good for choosing dinner, deciding what video to
pick, getting to stay up for an extra half hour, getting breakfast in bed,
a get out of cleaning your room card, or an extra bedtime story. For younger
children you can draw a picture on their coupon along with the words to
help them remember. This idea might take a year or two to catch on, but
once your children understand the joy of redeeming their coupon you'll have
a great gift to give them every year. These coupons can be helpful for later
parenting decisions - when your child asks if he can watch an extra TV show,
you can say, "would you like to use a coupon?" Then it becomes
his decision, not yours!
Nothing Beats a Memory
Give the gift of a story. Write down a favorite, happy memory from childhood
and send it to your mom or dad or a sibling or a grandparent. This is a priceless
gift that could never be purchased in a store.
The Low-Cost Holiday
Some families pick names so that you only have one person to find a gift
for. Families who are really simplifying their lives and decreasing their
stress insist the gift be under a certain amount of money or even hand-made.
One year, my family decided to give gifts to everyone, but each gift had
to be less than $5. This ended up being a lot of fun!
The Gift of Giving
A lot of people feel rushed and stressed this time of year. Sometimes the
best thing we can do to help ourselves is to help someone else. Surprise
someone by offering to return their grocery cart at the store. As a family,
volunteer to participate in a holiday feast for those less fortunate or
gather a group of neighbors together and go caroling or take your family
and decorate a tree in the woods (with popcorn and cranberry strings that
the birds can eat!)
I've Tried All Your Ideas and I'm Still Stressed!!!
If stress is really getting to you, think about what is contributing, what
thoughts you are having and how your body is responding. Maybe going for
a walk will help, but you have to eventually stop thinking those stressful
thoughts at some point, even if you're walking. What are your thoughts?
Can you change them to less stress producing thoughts? For example, I can
say to myself "The holidays never turn out like I want them too" or
I can say to myself "The holidays are always full of surprises, I wonder
what tomorrow will bring." This may sound simple, but catching negative
thoughts and changing their course can have very positive results.
What's It All About - Really?
Keep in mind whatever personal meaning or perspective you bring to the
holidays and share that with those you love and your children. From time
to time I remind myself that the most important thing I can do during the
holidays is enjoy those I'm with and that everything else is just icing
on the cake (or whipped cream on the pumpkin pie!).
